so what are you gunna be when you grow up?

I HATE THIS QUESTION.

I felt the deer-caught-in-headlights look come over my face as I realized that I couldn’t easily answer that question in the ten words or less the situation required. I always freeze up and have a slight panic attack. I’m only 24 yet I still don’t even know. I mean I have some vague ideas of things that I am mildly interested in. If you were to ask me the question of all the careers I’m NOT interested in that would be easier. Like for example I definitely don’t want to be a garbage man (can you imagine touching other people trash..ew) or a surgeon (so much guts, blood, and smells).

For a while I was thinking, maybe it was a lack of motivation. I work three jobs to pay off huge loans on a career that is pretty much a dead end. I really wish when I was younger people wouldn’t constantly say “you can be anything you wanna be when you grow up”. To me, there are so many false hopes in that statement. I honestly wish they never instilled this idea into my brain! In today’s society it should be rephrased as “you can be anything you wanna be when you grow up, as long as you have a million dollars and a few great connections”.

 

All I ever dreamed of doing since I was 11 was owning my own high-end sports bar with the most amazing unique bar food that keeps people’s mouthwatering that they come back every single week to watch the game at my bar. I am so in love with every kind of sport there is, especially football. I will go into detail about that in another post. Anyways, I have the whole thing so perfectly mapped out in my mind it almost feels like reality. Unfortunately, the actual reality of the situations is that I can’t afford to buy a building, hire and pay staff, any overhead costs. Etc.  This type of niche has barely been tapped in modern day society that I feel as though I am sitting on a cash-cow!

Someday I will make my dream a reality.

But for now I must revamp and find a career that can be bearable until I have the funds.

It’s just really hard to get that boost of “motivation” to make a career switch when you are witnessing some of the things I witness at my current jobs.

But currently, the hardest part about waking up and going to my 3 jobs is the fact that I feel there is no promotable potential, such a lack of recognition, and with a BA degree the lack of compensation for the amount of hours I put in. It is extremely hard at one job to bite my tongue and ignore the poorest management I have ever witnessed, when you know that you have are skilled and trained to do a better job. This is the main reason why I need a job where I need to be THE BOSS or at least be in a situation where I can work on my own for most of the time.

where i currently work..job # 1. New Seabury CC LLC. 8 years strong!

 

if i never see another summer beach wedding, it will be TOO SOON. so overdone and i'm SO OVER IT. I've worked over 400+ weddings and i can tell you one thing...you sure as HELL will not see me getting married in June-August.

I am just stuck in the place where I am not sure if I can find/go back to school and study for a #2 job when I have my heart set on my #1 dream job. I guess this is to be determined in the next couple of weeks once I move to my new place and take the time to re-evaluate a new course of action for my life. I just feel so much pressure on my from so many people to succeed, it looks like I am going to have to take a big risk and truly step into the unknown black hole of career searching. (UGH!!!!)

But honestly if i could just win the lottery. Be a Homemaker. That would be so ideal.

Me and the Biltmore Estate. My dream home. Wouldnt I make the most perfect house wife???

Me and some of my staff. I am the Queen of the Poppy Inn.

 

Our delicious menu. yum yum!!

slaving in our "ghetto" office.

"Living the life of a Poppy-Holic"

To Be Continued….

If you’re at all interested and reading about the ten worst jobs in america I posted the link below..i was curious!

http://www.cnbc.com/id/28539061/The_Ten_Worst_Jobs_in_America?slide=3

why am i moving?

“So, why are you moving to North Carolina?”

This is a question I’ve gotten a lot since I was telling people I was moving to North Carolina since May 2011. Yet every time it is asked—by the co-workers, family, or friends—I hesitate. I’d like to say something simple, like “for work” or “for school,” which is easy to understand. People move because of work and school all the time. I am moving for love. AND I am moving for change.

“Moving for Love is not very a good idea” “Are you engaged?” “In today’s day an age is that a smart decision?”

I’ve never quite gotten over the un-comfortableness I feel talking about this situation, but when these questions were asked it almost annoys me. Why can’t I just take a risk and see if it pans out? I swear people just like to say “I told you so”. If it works out that in the end you were right, then you can say it to my face a bazillion times. But what bothers me the most is when people give an opinion on an experience that they have never even went through on their own.

Have you ever moved away for love before and gotten hurt?!?

Have you been engaged and then had a broken engagement?

Have you ever lived with an IMPORTANT boyfriend before marriage?

How do you know in this “day and age” that it isn’t the RIGHT reason?

Well you want an answer? Here it is..

The most compact version of the real answer is, “I felt an existential need for change.” I suspect an answer like that would be greeted with confusing and a general “huh?” look on someone’s face. It changes small talk into weird talk. You mean you moving 1000 miles away just because you actually want to? Yup people, it is as simple as that. I have never wanted to experience change and experience the world as I do right now in my life. Figuring out problems, whether relationship or general day-to-day activities on my own without any pre-mentioned advice is all I want.

I am ready.

Moving because you feel like it *is* rather odd. I guess. But isn’t it odd that it’s odd? I’d never thought about it before, but millions of people in the world must live where they do just because that’s where they’ve always lived. They are afraid to LEAVE their comfort zones It makes me question how much control we actually have over our lives and how much power we give up by simply believing we don’t have any power.

I guess I would of fallen into that category had I not went on a road trip to Austin, TX last February with a best friend from Cape Cod. Shea received a job offer in Texas and needed a buddy to travel in the car with her on her journey. We were rolling along state to state until we hit Virginia. That’s when it truly occurred to me how vast the United States was. How sheltered I had been growing up in Mashpee a town that had grown from 4,000 full-time residents to 20,000 residents in 15 years.

I never really believed that I would have the strength to leave my bubble.

That I actually had this POWER to just go. Leave my friends and family behind and take a risk.

But what I am learning is that I was born with this strength, I can embrace change, embrace love, embrace a new opportunity in NC; everyone has it.

Mine was just covered under some clutter.

i know how to blog? I AM FAT

                                                           Hi, I’m Laura Jane

I never in a million years thought I would have a blog.

I don’t really see myself as particularly exciting and someone who has earth shattering ideas..nor am I someone who is an outstanding creative writer. I tend to be sarcastic and opinionated as all hell—but I am one of the most loyal, trustworthy, and HONEST people you will ever meet. I believe this blog will be a testament of that

It’s actually a funny story how it even occurred.

My best friend LHCampos was starting her own blog. She made it private and I was trying to access it to read it and give her some feedback. I had to give her my email and it would send me a link to join. As I am patiently waiting to read it, I get a text from her saying “why does it say I AM FAT next to your name?”..of course I have no freaking IDEA what she is talking about. I log on to my goggle page and low and behold a hacker had invented a blog for me titled “I AM FAT”. Of course I find this hilarious, I mean I am a little over-weight but in no means am I a buffalo!

Instead of being hurt by this situation and turning into a raging bitch, I am turning it into an opportunity to express my thoughts, opinions, feelings, and whatever my heart desires as I am about to embark on a new journey. This new journey consists of moving out of the house I grew up in, moving in with a boy where our future is undetermined, to a new town where I only know 2 people, while being unemployed. It will be about self-discovery and survival. And most importantly, finally getting the chance to grow up and mold myself into the person I have always dreamed of being.

It probably sounds like I’m crazy and scared.

But to be honest I have never been so ready and excited in my life.

My life has been on hold for 2 years—waiting for the boy I love to focus on his own journey. Don’t get me wrong, the sacrifice is not what I regret. But I am ready for my OWN journey and my OWN life to begin. Never in a million years did I think it would come down to me being in a situation where at 24 I am DEPENDENT on a man. That I would have to put my dreams and aspirations in a box and tucked away on a shelf for the time being. My boy and I have finally agreed its time that I can focus on achieving the things and doing the things that are important in my life. Its time to get down to business!!

I SWEAR this hacker was trying to send me a sign..and maybe this was it!?