Confessions of Laura Jane: Goodbyes..really are GOOD..

Goodbyes are the worst.

Or they are supposed to be.

When I first found out I was leaving, I was sure I was going to be on a crazy emotional rollercoaster of a ride. I figure all of my friends would go out of there way, like in movies and books, to spend as much time with me before I embark 1000 miles away. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like that at all. It actually surprised me that friends who were ALREADY miles away were the ones offering advice and a helping hand rather than the ones close by. Well, all I can say is that I have never been more excited to “cut the fat” in the friendship world than I am now. Have you called me/made plans with me/Facetimed me/sent me a card in the past 6 months? If you haven’t, you have been most likely downgraded on my future wedding list to a “questionable” guest. Kid me not, I have a wedding guest word document and if you are feeling you might be on the bubble..you probably are!

One of my New Year’s resolutions was making the effort in preserving and maintaining friendships. Easier said than done. I am actually proud of myself. I have actually been putting in a valiant effort. For those who have chosen to spend more time with a “new” relationship or just act plain lazy—shame on you. The oldest rule in the book—chicks before dicks. Hoes before bros. come on now, even in adult world you will realize the importance of spending time with the girls.

It’s not like you can actually complain about girl things to your boyfriend and him actually ENJOY it. I have been trying for 2 years to teach Jonny to straighten that hidden hair bump that everyone always misses when you are getting ready to go out. You know that chunk of hair I am talking about! (the one in the very back) Act like your boyfriend can do a better job getting out that AWFUL bump rather than your best friend? THERE IS NO WAY. (and if you have friends who don’t tell you about that hair bump before going out to the bar, they are either):

A. jealous of you and want you to look worse than them or

B. not your true friend

Another example did a little spring cleaning on Facebook and deleted 600+ friends. Why would I want people I don’t give a rats ass about see me having more fun than them? Spending time with my family, why would I want you to stalk my family members and I?

BYE BYE is all I can say. See some goodbyes really aren’t that bad.

I guess breaking it down in simplest terms, I am just trying to surround myself in a more POSITIVE world since I am making the change to a new place. I can re-do my outlook in life, start anew, be the individual I’ve talked about being for years and years. A person, who is careful about giving second chances to ones who don’t deserve them.

If you are pretty much the only one putting in the effort into a friendship, than it ISNT a friendship. It’s a two way street and in reality, everyone is driving on the same road.

Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do, it’s not about whether you’re good or not, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a balanced relationship between people. I’ve come to realize that in the past year—my friendship scale has NOT been balanced. I guess I need to be more forgiving and realize that doesn’t mean it’s always balanced at every moment.

Sometimes you “need a friend” and other times it’s the other way. It’s a trust that’s returned. It’s like letting your sister borrow your favorite shirt. When she gives it back you can trust that someday the favor will be returned.

But let this be a lesson learned to all who are reading:

This is your final notice.

Before I label our type of friendship as hopelessly destructive, I want you to honestly reflect and see if you can recognize what is making our relationship poisonous, what is causing that excessive derogatory behavior and whether or not that with time and help, if we can change the orientation of the problem.

If changes cannot occur, than we both have to accept our traits and flaws and move on from each other’s lives.

Sometimes it’s hard to say goodbye.

It’s hard to say the goodbyes, where it was someone you had some pretty, fun, amazing, and memorable times with.

However, I’d rather have just a few good friends rather than more than I can keep track of.

But lastly,

THANK YOU.

To the ones who have been there through thick and thin.

Friends make good company on the road of life, and for a true few of you, even a few new ones you have been more than I could have ever ask for. Making memories with you are never a waste of my time, but time I cherish and look back on every day and smile.

I heard this once and really like it: Friendship isn’t a big thing, but millions of little things all mixed together in a mixing bowl, where every spoonful has a wonderful result.

Friends are people who bring out the best in you.

SO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN ME. I LOVE YOU LADIES!!! XOXOXO