why am i moving?

“So, why are you moving to North Carolina?”

This is a question I’ve gotten a lot since I was telling people I was moving to North Carolina since May 2011. Yet every time it is asked—by the co-workers, family, or friends—I hesitate. I’d like to say something simple, like “for work” or “for school,” which is easy to understand. People move because of work and school all the time. I am moving for love. AND I am moving for change.

“Moving for Love is not very a good idea” “Are you engaged?” “In today’s day an age is that a smart decision?”

I’ve never quite gotten over the un-comfortableness I feel talking about this situation, but when these questions were asked it almost annoys me. Why can’t I just take a risk and see if it pans out? I swear people just like to say “I told you so”. If it works out that in the end you were right, then you can say it to my face a bazillion times. But what bothers me the most is when people give an opinion on an experience that they have never even went through on their own.

Have you ever moved away for love before and gotten hurt?!?

Have you been engaged and then had a broken engagement?

Have you ever lived with an IMPORTANT boyfriend before marriage?

How do you know in this “day and age” that it isn’t the RIGHT reason?

Well you want an answer? Here it is..

The most compact version of the real answer is, “I felt an existential need for change.” I suspect an answer like that would be greeted with confusing and a general “huh?” look on someone’s face. It changes small talk into weird talk. You mean you moving 1000 miles away just because you actually want to? Yup people, it is as simple as that. I have never wanted to experience change and experience the world as I do right now in my life. Figuring out problems, whether relationship or general day-to-day activities on my own without any pre-mentioned advice is all I want.

I am ready.

Moving because you feel like it *is* rather odd. I guess. But isn’t it odd that it’s odd? I’d never thought about it before, but millions of people in the world must live where they do just because that’s where they’ve always lived. They are afraid to LEAVE their comfort zones It makes me question how much control we actually have over our lives and how much power we give up by simply believing we don’t have any power.

I guess I would of fallen into that category had I not went on a road trip to Austin, TX last February with a best friend from Cape Cod. Shea received a job offer in Texas and needed a buddy to travel in the car with her on her journey. We were rolling along state to state until we hit Virginia. That’s when it truly occurred to me how vast the United States was. How sheltered I had been growing up in Mashpee a town that had grown from 4,000 full-time residents to 20,000 residents in 15 years.

I never really believed that I would have the strength to leave my bubble.

That I actually had this POWER to just go. Leave my friends and family behind and take a risk.

But what I am learning is that I was born with this strength, I can embrace change, embrace love, embrace a new opportunity in NC; everyone has it.

Mine was just covered under some clutter.