Confessions of Laura Jane: so what are you gunna be when you grow up?

I HATE THIS QUESTION.

I felt the deer-caught-in-headlights look come over my face as I realized that I couldn’t easily answer that question in the ten words or less the situation required. I always freeze up and have a slight panic attack. I’m only 24 yet I still don’t even know. I mean I have some vague ideas of things that I am mildly interested in. If you were to ask me the question of all the careers I’m NOT interested in that would be easier. Like for example I definitely don’t want to be a garbage man (can you imagine touching other people trash..ew) or a surgeon (so much guts, blood, and smells).

For a while I was thinking, maybe it was a lack of motivation. I work three jobs to pay off huge loans on a career that is pretty much a dead end. I really wish when I was younger people wouldn’t constantly say “you can be anything you wanna be when you grow up”. To me, there are so many false hopes in that statement. I honestly wish they never instilled this idea into my brain! In today’s society it should be rephrased as “you can be anything you wanna be when you grow up, as long as you have a million dollars and a few great connections”.

All I ever dreamed of doing since I was 11 was owning my own high-end sports bar with the most amazing unique bar food that keeps people’s mouthwatering that they come back every single week to watch the game at my bar. I am so in love with every kind of sport there is, especially football. I will go into detail about that in another post. Anyways, I have the whole thing so perfectly mapped out in my mind it almost feels like reality. Unfortunately, the actual reality of the situations is that I can’t afford to buy a building, hire and pay staff, any overhead costs. Etc. This type of niche has barely been tapped in modern day society that I feel as though I am sitting on a cash-cow!

Someday I will make my dream a reality.

But for now I must revamp and find a career that can be bearable until I have the funds.

It’s just really hard to get that boost of “motivation” to make a career switch when you are witnessing some of the things I witness at my current jobs.

But currently, the hardest part about waking up and going to my 3 jobs is the fact that I feel there is no promotable potential, such a lack of recognition, and with a BA degree the lack of compensation for the amount of hours I put in. It is extremely hard at one job to bite my tongue and ignore the poorest management I have ever witnessed, when you know that you have are skilled and trained to do a better job. This is the main reason why I need a job where I need to be THE BOSS or at least be in a situation where I can work on my own for most of the time.

where i currently work..job # 1. New Seabury CC LLC. 8 years strong!

if i never see another summer beach wedding, it will be TOO SOON. so overdone and i'm SO OVER IT. I've worked over 400+ weddings and i can tell you one thing...you sure as HELL will not see me getting married in June-August.

I am just stuck in the place where I am not sure if I can find/go back to school and study for a #2 job when I have my heart set on my #1 dream job. I guess this is to be determined in the next couple of weeks once I move to my new place and take the time to re-evaluate a new course of action for my life. I just feel so much pressure on my from so many people to succeed, it looks like I am going to have to take a big risk and truly step into the unknown black hole of career searching. (UGH!!!!)

But honestly if i could just win the lottery. Be a Homemaker. That would be so ideal.